14 weeks PP

How long I have neglected this space of mine!! 

Zachary is now 3 months plus or to be exact 14 weeks old already!

He's so cute and chubby, his weight is now 8kg. He was just 3kg at birth! All thanks to my milk ☺️

By 2 months plus, I lost all the weight I gained during pregnancy... And more. I was 53kg pre-pregnancy and gained 12kg. Now I'm hovering between 51-52kg. I am truly amazed by how breastfeeding helped to lose all those kilos. No exercise (how do new mothers find the time to do so without extra help?) I didn't eat a lot as well. Nope. I did not try to diet. I didn't have a good appetite, which was surprising because breastfeeding burns calories and I am supposed to want to eat more.

But I had a huge craving for sweet drinks. I can drink them without drinking water the whole day, this is horrible.

My current favorites:

- pokka jasmine green tea

- koi milk tea

- soya bean milk 

- ice lemon tea

- teh o

- coke

- coconut water

I remember drinking Ribena but not anymore. 

Although I lost weight (which I am very very happy about and I thank God for that), I realized that my butt went flat. I don't think it's due to the weight loss as I had perky butt even when I was skinny. 

Pregnancy just makes everything less firm. This is something I have to accept, but worth it as I have such a cute baby to love. Everyday I ask what did I do to deserve such a wonderful child?? God has blessed me so much! 

Just me and my baby

The nanny is out and nobody's home. It's just me and ZAC!

Him sleeping with his father's childhood toy haha.

I finally had a good shower on Friday!!! The nanny prepared 2 big pails of herbal bath water for me. Very shiok!! 

I will persevere a little more. Just another 2 weeks plus to go! 

During this confinement period I did not apply any skincare products. I didn't even wash my face with cleanser. I perspire all day long. Yet my skin has zero breakouts and I look more radiant. It's odd!

I'm not complaining :D update this space again when I have the time~

1 week old

Today baby Zac is one week old! Wow time flies!! 

Caught him smiling! At this point his smiles are just reflexes. But still it makes me so happy!!!

Confinement has been fine so far. I engaged a nanny. Though I don't really believe a lot of all these 'pantang', but I was thinking just try it for once and see how is it... Haha, since I'm gonna pay for it anyway.

So... I can't believe I didn't wash my hair since that day?! But surprisingly it wasn't unbearable... In the past I will get itchy easily but not now? And I secretly showered once haha. I have some herbal water to wipe myself everyday so still not too bad. She cooks nice food for me. A lot of pork, ginger, sesame oil... I drink the red date/longan tea everyday. Sometimes I drink water also la. 

I also wear bedroom slippers at home. But I don't cover myself head to toe and I still have the fan on and windows open. 

I'm not engaging a massage lady but I'm thinking of buying a belly binder... 

Nowadays I also feel like a cow... Pumping and feeding baby Zac.

I feel pretty accomplished knowing that I can provide for him!!! This was yesterday's amount. Today I can have 2 of this bottle!! Hehe amazing!

Ok waiting for baby to wake up to feed him... Last pic,

Milk drunk, so cute!!

My little prince is finally here

I delivered baby Zachary on 26th March 2015 @ 1757hrs!!! 

He was 3015g and 50cm long!😍

Stay tuned! 

Am I in labour?

It's the third day after my first sign of labour... Woke up at 1.40am due to the heat... Then I couldn't sleep already. Started to feel contractions. On and off. This time it's much different from the period-like cramps. More intense and took a longer time to fade. Interval is still not too frequent. Lots of movement from Zac Zac.

Happened about twice and more brownish mucus coming out. So I told myself "Cannot wait already." I went to bathe and prepare myself.

Time now is 3.30am. I have a sheet mask on my face haha. Hubby still sleeping beside me unaware I've been up preparing.

Actually we are seeing the doctor later at 11.45am. I even told Hubby maybe I should bring my hospital bag in case doctor says I'm in labour already.

Still monitoring the frequency and duration of contraction. Dun wish to wake hubby up, hoping he'll get more sleep. 

Keep telling myself: I can do this. Talked to baby too. We can do this together. We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. *breathe in and out*

I wanted to go pay my respects to Mr Lee Kuan Yew and was hoping the doctor says I am still far from true labour. Now I am not so sure.

Time check: 4am

My hair is wet but I can't blow dry if not hubby will wake up. But I can't get sleep. Worried if I'm indeed going to deliver today I will be tired because of a lack of rest.

Lots of anxiety but focusing on the end: finally seeing my little prince!! 

40th week

At 39 weeks Day 3, I'm showing signs of labour!!

First I had a 'bloody show', diarrhea and very very mild cramps which go off after awhile. Basically I felt like my period is gonna come... 

Haha, he looked so tired and I was afraid I needed to go to the hospital any time so I only filled my brows!! Look at my swollen self haha!!

But anyway I spent the day shopping for baby and my stuff... Almost 4-5 hours!! Then my back got achy...

Went to tampines IKEA, Giant and Courts. First we had our brunch at 1pm. We always have the tendency to order too much but this time I reminded hubby, I can't eat that much already, so we were very conservative with portion sizes. I'm also trying to 'train him' not to be greedy and order everything that looks delicious.

We had: 15 meatballs, 2 chicken wings, a salad, a plate of gravad lax (I cheated and ate a piece oops), 1 mushroom soup and 2 pieces of garlic bread. Ice cream too!

Over at IKEA, we bought mattress protector, changing mats, fitted sheet, mobile, a photo frame, cloths for baby. I was disappointed actually cause my main reason for going IKEA was to get their baby bath tub but it was sold out and stocks will only be in from May!!! Baby tubs are so expensive!

Then we went to Giant, and I bought 2 nursing bras. Oh they are ugly but cheap and good. 

Only $9.90 each! I went to kiddy palace and they start from 20plus but designs are much nicer. I have a church friend who told me CK departmental store sells them for only $5! The one near my place don't have them.

Previously due to my expanding chest I bought wireless bra and they are very comfortable too. 2 for $39 from Pierre Cardin. Not sure if my chest size gonna go bigger or smaller that's why only bought 2. I bought 4 wired bras previously and I can't wear them already 😆

Went to Courts to buy a pillow for the confinement nanny. Hubby bought a tab as well.

Went home and got all excited. Baby's cot is ready! Got hubby to fix the stroller. We didn't manage to do it previously. 

Recently I been applying facial sheet masks every night. Maybe it's my way of welcoming our little prince. Wanna look good. Feels good and my skin looks refreshed as well.

I hope we won't be awaken tonight. Hope baby will stay in there for a while more... See you soon my little prince! 

Mourning of a nation

My appetite has gone down, not much craving, deciding what to eat has become a chore. I get full easily.

Can feel baby's every micro movement cause it is too cramped for him inside haha.

I will be seeing the doctor on Thursday instead of the midwife if baby haven't arrive by then. The midwife is surprised that I have no cramp/contractions etc. Says baby is too comfortable inside! My back has started to feel uncomfortable some times.

Today is officially the start of my manternity leave. The whole of Singapore woke up to a piece of sad news: Our founding father, Mr Lee Kuan Yew, passed away peacefully at 3.18am.

It was 7.20am when I received the info. I turned to hubby who was still sleeping beside me and woke him up. But he was still in a daze. I cried silently. All I hope was that he eventually know who God is. I sat in front of the TV waiting for our Prime Minister's live address. My heart aches for him as he had to address the nation even though his own father had just passed on.

This week will be a mourning period for our nation, until 29th March. Baby, maybe you can wait till 30th March to arrive, like what I've always told you. I think you can sense mummy is sad. That's why you are not as active this whole time. 

Rest well, Sir. Singapore will continue to build on your legacy. We are forever indebted to you.

39th week update

Time for another update! School holidays started yesterday, I went back to school just for an hour to finish up some admin work.

The visit to the midwife last week, she gave me lots of info on what to expect on the day of delivery. She said baby's head has gone down a little lower this time! :D My weight went down a little. From 12.5kg gain to 12.35kg. She was curious and mentioned another mummy also had the same issue and said she had lunch before coming in the other time. It was the same for me haha.

We went to book our room type as well. For subsidized we can choose from C, B2 or B2+ ward. I personally went up to the wards to take a look. Hospital directory will not indicate which level has which ward so it was a guessing game for me. I've seen the C and B2 class ward. Though they say its without aircon but there will still be air cooler. So its not so bad. But I wanted to have at least some privacy and basic level of comfort so I chose the B2+ which is actually a room with 5 beds and attached bathroom + aircon. Another tip, B2+ is the most popular among the subsidized wards so there is a high chance you might get an upgrade :D

I collected my photos last Friday too. Let me share some here...



Beautiful memories, I really encourage all expectant mothers to go for it at least once. I know some of you might be feeling self-concious about your body but you will not have your pregnant body forever. To me its even more important than wedding photos! These were taken one month ago on Valentine's Day. I passed the 38th week mark already :O

Met up with Linda and Wen on Sunday, went to SSC, not sure when will be the next outing? :( They might need to come over more often.

The baby cot is here today! I find that its a little big, but its still beautiful! I can imagine myself going into the room many times a day just to look at baby Zac... Mummy can't wait for you to be here. I love you <3.

I've finally gotten down to packing my hospital bag. The next few days will be about cleaning and tidying the house. More things to buy... OK time for a short nap. Till the next time... :D

Nightmares (not me)

Time really flies, at 1000km/hr. I'm in school now, last day before I go on leave. I don't know why when I say last day it feels like I am leaving forever =X

And my closest colleague have been on medical leave since yesterday... oh no. as much as I wished she is here, I would rather she rest and recuperate at home.

Somebody is more anxious than me. Hubby says he had 2 nightmares in a row. One was about HIM giving birth (he says because he doesn't have a vagina so the doctor wanted to cut open his... LOL, another one was about me going into labour............................ well that will happen eventually.

Baby, mummy can't wait to meet you... Promise to come on the 30th please?? I got a feeling his head is engaged already..

God has given me victory - 凯 the chinese character for victory, part of baby's name ❤

Mood swings kicking in

Very tired.

Washed quite a bit of baby's clothes yesterday. My colleague gave me her laundry detergent, super grateful for that. It smells really nice! We bought additional clothes drying rack exclusively for Zac's use because sure no space... How to when there are already 4 of us living in the house. I'm quite horrible. I realized I only bought 4 baby vests (they were paid by my father-in-law during our taiwan trip and it was just a random purchase), 7 pairs of mittens, 9 pair of booties, 4 swaddle blankets... oops

I have more to wash later.

If not for my church friend who gave a whole lot of clothes I think my baby got nothing to wear. Haha. Not sure why I just don't have the desire to go shopping for baby stuff. I am not a person who enjoys shopping anyway but I thought I would be different when it comes to baby.

Our designer friend came to paint the room and added nice cloud and balloon stickers on the walls. I told him I wanted something along the lines of 'Up'.

Need to fix the stroller and wait for cot to arrive.

Today is my second last day at work. My colleague is on medical leave, will be taking over her class. Kind of looking forward to it. Going back to my mum's place for dinner later. Can't wait to knock off. I reached school just on time, had my breakfast, check my email, read articles and just took a nap. Yes that was how tired I was. All the commotion last night, many times I wished my house really belong just to me and hubby alone.

Don't get me wrong, my FIL and BIL are ok people. But when people with different living habits and expectations come together, friction is inevitable. Getting used to your spouse is already a huge challenge, and yet I need to get use to 2 others. I just feel it is so unfair for me. I finally understand why couples are encouraged to stay apart from parents. They need to set up their own family rules and structure but I feel even that is taken away from me. If I demand them to do things a certain way, that would be uncomfortable for them as well right?

I'm not even someone who is particular about household stuffs, I never had to lift a finger to do housework when I was single and now I am doing housework my whole pregnancy. The house would be less messy and dirty if it was just the 2 of us. I wished people would try to help. I wonder if I had problems with housework would anybody even take the initiative to clean the house for me?

Enough ranting, we will work this out together.

Pre-mummy jitters

Sleepless nights, thinking about the impending birth. Worried about the pain (how can a baby go through down there??), worried about having to go through a c-sect if failure to progress. How bad would the pain be, will it warrant an epidural? Should I? Worried about not being able to breastfeed/low supply. Hubby admitted he is also 'scared'.

Reading about birth experiences doesn't help either, I'm curious la. Can't help looking. Also been reading lots of different stories mummies everywhere been through, trying to conceive, stillbirths, ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage. Every woman who becomes a mother (or has the desire to be one) seems to share an unspoken bond.

I was just telling hubby its now 一天过一天. I'm at 37 weeks, day 3 - 19 more days. My appointment with the midwife this Friday again, and I wonder if I can make it to the next appointment?

There were some points during the pregnancy I asked "What did I get myself into??" Am I ready?? But other times we talk about when we are going to have a second one... haha

I guess we can never be ready.

I don't really like the month of March, I don't find any dates that look nice. But I thought my original EDD 30th March looks nice. That would be 40 Weeks + 1 Day. I told baby, can come out on that day?? :D

2 more working days excluding today. I will have 2 weeks of rest/preparation. Just waiting for time to pass and preparing to hand over.

Yesterday I took over the class for my colleague. Those adorable kids. Gonna miss them. When I'm back from long leave they would soon be in Primary 5, how fast kids grow up! One of the triplet asked me, "Why is your nose so red?" I replied, red and big right?? Then I told her that there are many changes when a woman is pregnant. she later add on, "how come your tummy become bigger but not your other parts?"

I felt better after that haha.

My maternity photos are ready! Gonna collect them this Friday too. I planned quite a number of things for this Friday. Planning to do my hair, go for my appointment, collect the photos, will be having dinner with the bridesmaid team.

I'm actually craving for apple strudel now... Can I fly to Australia for one? I missed the one my cousin brought back, had it during CNY! yummy.

I shall end off with a picture of my bump at exactly 37 weeks!

See you soon my cutie pie...

Officially full-term

Here I am at 5am, wide awake in bed. Oh Zac is starting to move again <3 it's really any time from now. Want to thank God for His promise, that this baby will indeed be carried to full-term. That's what He assured me when I often have fears of losing baby.

An update on the midwife visit on Friday, I tested negative for the Strep B test!! Woohoo one thing off my mind, another small step towards a smooth delivery. Baby's head still not engaged yet. In just one week I gained another 1kg - total weight gain: 12.5kg

Been reading up on cord blood banking and we decided to donate it to the Singapore Cord Blood Bank. My takeaway is that if baby has any kind of illness later in life, his own cord blood might not be suitable as it already contains the defective cells? No point banking it for private use, might as well donate it for someone else to benefit from it. See baby, you are saving lives the moment you are born and I'm so proud of you!

After midwife appointment and signing forms for cord blood donation I went for a short session on breastfeeding. Previously I attended Mrs Wong Boh Boi's antenatal class and it covered this topic. However I felt I needed a refresher and I'm glad I went for it! 

Hubby had already gone for his meeting after seeing the midwife together with me. After the session I had a sudden thought to go take a look at the nursery. Felt a little emo when I saw those babies...

I was in need of a mani/pedi so I went back to Northpoint. Removed my CNY gelish (not bad it lasted me for a good 2 weeks plus). Also did a classic pedicure, needed to get rid of the dead skin and trim my toe nails as well. It's getting uncomfortable to do it on my own. I might go back again before I give birth. The lady serving me was not bad! The price was reasonable as well at $35, I could do this more often :D

Hot pink on my toes! Can't stop admiring them though my feet is not the prettiest part of me. I always find that they look dark and dirty :S Slight swelling as you can see. I refer to them as sausage toes haha!

Had dinner, went home and waited for CG members to arrive. 

Been craving for Teh O... 

Discovered something funny when I saw myself walking towards the mirror. The bear on my nightie looks 3D due to my belly haha!! And when I walk it looks animated like the bear is tilting its head left and right!!! I showed hubby and he found it so cute!! Haha the position is perfect!

It's 6am now on a Sunday morning! It's my last week at work before I go on leave. I will have about 2 weeks of rest and preparation if baby arrives around EDD. Next appt with midwife will be on Friday again. So just another 4 more days of work.

Ok I should try to get back to sleep!

Days out of school

I've basically been out of school for most days this week. Last Friday I went to KKH, Mon and Tues I was on medical leave, and tomorrow I am going to the midwife again. I'm hoping I do not have the Strep B bacteria so that would be one less thing I need to worry about.

So I made use of the days at home to clean and pack the house (especially baby's room). I didn't buy a lot of stuff for baby and was unpacking and feeling really thankful for all the hand-me-downs and brand new stuff friends and colleagues have given to me.

I've been so emotional recently. I cried wondering if I will be a good mother. I was literally sobbing. I told hubby sometimes I feel like we are still kids and now we gonna have a kid of our own. I was at kiddy palace yesterday and looking at all the baby stuff made me feel so blessed that I have a son.

More people have commented on my huge oily, red nose!!! I'm not upset at them but I wish it wasn't that prominent! Its like the first thing people see when they look at me!!! In fact I think my face look kinda different.

But besides that I really do not have any uncomfortable symptoms at the 37th week (Yes I am officially full-term this Sunday!). It's been really a breeze. No aches even though I still do housework (laundry, vacuuming, dusting). Cramps are very minimal. Its just my NOSE, UNDERARMS, WEAK/ACHY FINGER JOINTS, FEELING WARM, STRETCH MARKS.

Some people commented "You are so fit/strong." Actually I wonder does a person's fitness level have anything to do with how their body handle pregnancy? Because I know I'm not the fittest person around. Not exercising regularly since 10 years ago and food choices not as healthy as before. 

One example, I just had laksa, and I finished the gravy. Who eats laksa on a hot hot day in a non air conditioned place, on top of increasing body heat in late pregnancy?? 

Entering 37 weeks

Went to the midwife today for strep B test. Just a swab below, simple and straightforward. Nothing much to report as usual. Hopefully I do not have the bacteria so I don't need to be administered antibiotics during labour.

Was more curious to find out how much weight I gained. From last month, I only gained additional 1.5kg. Not too bad. A total of 11.5kg weight gain so far. Started at 53kg and weigh 64.5kg now. 

Baby's head is still down but not engaged yet. Will be going back for the next appointment in a week's time. I asked the midwife if I will be seeing doc or doing anymore scan, she said no unless I have not delivered by 39 weeks. Well I guess if baby's fine and I am well, there's no need for it. That's how the subsidized system works.

Let's see if the subsidized scheme really is much cheaper than going private. If not, the next time I might as well choose private.

Feeling a little depressed when I see myself in the mirror. Seems like more stretch marks appearing. Not on my belly but my upper thighs and possibly under my boobs and on my lower back just above my butt. Oh did I mention I already have very old stretch marks (already white) on my butt due to puberty? My consolation: they are hidden as long as I am clothed. I think when they fade to white I will feel much better as fresh marks are like purple/red.

They say gaining weight gradually and applying lotion helps but I still couldn't prevent it so, I guess I am genetically predisposed to it. Some people who are much bigger dun get them at all, so it's not about your size.

My underarms look very dark and dirty but people say it will go away so I'm not so concerned about that.

Knowing how vain I am, this the sacrifice I made to have baby Zac. No regrets!

初七，人日。

It's day 7 of the lunar new year. It is considered to be everyone's birthday.

I'm starting to get more tired. Yesterday I took a 2 hour nap after coming back from school and slept through the night but still needed to take naps when I reached work today.

I take 15-20mins naps about once or twice a day at work.

The stretch marks on my left thigh doesn't seem to be going away. Hubby comforted me saying they were not a lot. I saw some emerging on the inner thigh now...

I have many fears going through my mind.
- Will I be able to handle the pain of labour? How long will it take?
- Will baby be ok?
- It will be much more tiring when baby comes out. Can I manage well?
- Will I lose the excess weight?
- Will I be able to breastfeed successfully?
- How will I evolve as I take on the role of being a mother? I don't wanna be a paranoid mother.

I'm not tired of pregnancy, but I'm feeling restricted due to it. When can I wear nice clothes/heels again? I miss my sashimi, steak, runny egg yolks, etc.

Of course I have exciting thoughts about meeting baby Zac:
- Will he resemble me or hubby more?
- How heavy will he be?
- What kind of personality will he have?
- Will he have lots of hair?? :D
- I can't wait for his first smile!

Hubby says I am so much happier being pregnant. Everyday I thank God for giving me Zac. Its the greatest blessing God has given me, to become a mother. Hubby and I still can't believe we are becoming parents, we are gonna have a son. It's now down to a matter of weeks before I see Zac. 4 more days to March, 11 more days to 37 weeks.

My uncle was telling me my 3 cousins didn't come easy or cheap. They had problems conceiving each one of them and had to see the senior specialist for jabs. Though I empathize with him on that, but God also showed me that even with obstacles He was able to bless them with 3 children.

For those who are still trying, don't give up hope.

I have another round of CNY visitation this weekend... hmm. Just the thought of it makes me tired. :S Seeing the midwife again this Friday for Strep B test. Not sure what else to expect. Hopefully I can find out roughly how heavy baby is right now and also how heavy I am :O

Chinese New Year/36th week

Just made it passed 35 weeks. So I am in my 36th week now. Feeling a little anxious. I have not packed my hospital bag. Have not washed all the baby clothes. Have not gotten baby tub, baby cot is not here yet.

Chinese New Year wasn't particularly exciting for me. I did not buy new clothes due to my growing belly. Made do with what I already have. Was really tired during visitations. I cut down on a few houses this year. This is my second year giving red packets so by right I should not be receiving any already. But quite a number of relatives still blessed us! Maybe its the baby?! :D Did not eat alot during mealtimes but I snacked mainly on pineapple tarts, green tea, coke! all the sweet stuff made me feel very guilty.

I went to the manicurist on the eve to do my nails! She's home-based and stays just opposite my block! I will definitely be going back to her the next time. I had a classic pedicure and gelish manicure done and it cost only $75. $25 for the pedicure, $35 + $15 (nail art) for manicure. However, her services do not include scrub. Its really affordable and no additional surcharge for CNY period as I got a discount code ;)

I wanted to have hot pink glitters for my nails but the pink glitters she had were paler, what a let down.

I'm planning to do something to my hair before giving birth. My hair looks ok overall even though the last time I rebonded my hair was 9 months ago. I'm afraid I would not have time to do my hair  and hormones may wreck it (no drastic hairloss please!) I heard from the manicurist that even her friend with relatively thick hair was reduced to having bald patches. I have really thick hair as well but hearing that made me anxious =X

I also realized I could not fit into my old shoes anymore! During the photoshoot last week I brought my wedding heels only to realize I had to squeeze into them! Ever since I entered 2nd Trimester I bought new flats and stopped wearing heels and old shoes but I never thought my feet actually grew bigger... oh no.

Sweet moments between Hubbby and I. and baby Zac haha

Somebody is growing really strong bones and muscles! I will miss feeling his movements. Still so amazed by how much Zac grew, feels surreal I'm gonna be a mother soon. I'm truly blessed.

Valentine's Day

We never celebrated Valentine's Day, but I planned for something special on that day only to realize it was the 14th of February. It was also 9 years and 10 months since we got together, time flies!

A month ago, I booked and paid for the deposit of a maternity photoshoot! I was inspired by Fann Wong's Marie France Ad and thought I would like to leave a beautiful memory for myself and Zac Zac. Didn't want to wait for the next time as I am not sure if I will still look as good for subsequent pregnancies.

After doing some research, I decided to take up the package from a certain photography studio as I feel the price is reasonable, with makeup and hairstyling services included. I looked through their portfolio and find their style quite classy:

PACKAGE TERMS AND FEATURE - $358
› female photographer
› 1 hour studio photography session
› 3 outfit changes
› makeup and hair-styling for expectant mothers
› husbands have the option to join in
› 1 x A4 print with frame
› 5 x 5R prints
› 10 soft copy

I actually shortlisted another studio but found their package too expensive (above $500) - no makeup/hairstyling, not sure about outfits as they seems to only have sashes and very see through fabrics. Only 1 big print without frame and 10 soft copies. (the one above have 5 smaller prints.) But their portfolio looks really good.

So this was me before the photoshoot, sans makeup...

After makeup! I love the hair the makeup artist did for me. I want to perm my hair, not sure if it will turn out well? She also applied eyelid tape so that my eyelids will look more pronounced. The problem wth my eyelids are that they will appear hidden when I smile in photos. My eyes will also look much much smaller. Usually I tell the MUA not to apply them but not sure why this time I just left them on.

There were not many photos which were to our liking, a little disappointing actually. I expected more for the price we paid. But I'm generally still happy with the photos selected. The photographer made the shooting experience a pleasant one. I must say I enjoyed the shoot.

We were informed we should be getting the photos about 1 week after CNY. After we left the studio, we bumped into our church friend. She had hers done at another studio, for the price of $100 and got back all her soft copies!! Good price she paid and the photos were still decent. But of course she did not have other additional services. I guess it really depends on what you want.

Can't wait to share the photos here! Looking forward to CNY!

34th week

Time flies, it's already halfway through the school term! I will be finishing my lessons before Chinese New Year.

This also means I'm inching closer to seeing Zac... I try not to think too much about it because I will be worried that I can't handle labour pains. So I am enjoying now! I believe in visualizing and speaking out: I will have a smooth and fast natural delivery, no tear, manageable pain, baby and I safe and sound.

Of course if things don't turn out as I wished I will trust doctor's decision. Health and safety of mother and baby are most important. Although I really hope I do not have to go through a C-Sect.

Zac's movements are so vigorous everyday, sometimes I am concerned, is he getting enough sleep?? haha

But every time I feel so comforted when he moves, and I will acknowledge him by patting or stroking my belly. I will tell him "Yes, mummy is here, mummy love you." His hiccups are so strong now, I can see my belly 'bouncing'.

Current pregnancy symptoms, as usual nothing much to report on. Except for achy finger joints. I have also gained 10kg! I tell myself its all the baby and not me! Don't want to worry about gaining weight, most importantly baby must be healthy.

Went to see the midwife last Friday. No scanning was done but just to feel baby's position and measure heart rate. I already knew baby was head down ever since the last scan and I keep telling him to stay there! Midwife also showed me roughly how big is baby's head! She also informed me will be doing the Strep B test next appointment. A pity that my appointment falls on the day we have our Mass ALC Meeting.

Upcoming events for week 6:
1) I am going for my maternity photoshoot! Don't wanna miss this important milestone in my life!
2) Dasha's wedding :D

Week 7:
1) End of SDR and Chinese New Year week!

Gender preference

Before I got married, I wanted a boy. I think I watched too many shows about boys being important as they need to carry on the family line. Furthermore, I had this mindset that boys are harder to conceive (no idea why :S) I also felt girls were troublesome. (with reference to myself haha!)

Later on after I got married, every one around me were all expecting boys! I started to worry, what if I only have sons and no daughters?! My mother-in-law had all sons and I thought having a girl would be a refreshing experience for the family. I started to yearn for a girl instead.

My perception started to change after going for the nuchal translucency scan at 3 months.

Combined with my blood test results, I was told that my baby had a higher risk of having Down's Syndrome. We saw the results before seeing the doctor (occupational hazard la, like looking at psychological reports, doctor's memo). Hubby and I knew what she wanted to tell us. We were sent for counselling to help us decide what to do next. In my hastiness, I asked to be scheduled to go for Chorionic villus sampling (CVS) the next day.

So what is CVS all about? (extracted from Wikipedia)
Chorionic villus sampling (CVS), is a form of prenatal diagnosis to determine chromosomal or genetic disorders in the fetus. It entails sampling of the chorionic villus (placental tissue) and testing it for chromosomal abnormalities. CVS usually takes place at 10–12 weeks' gestation, earlier than amniocentesis or percutaneous umbilical cord blood sampling. It is the preferred technique before 15 weeks.

Although this procedure is mostly associated with testing for Down Syndrome, overall, CVS can detect more than 200 disorders.

And the risks:
Risk of miscarriage in CVS is about 0.5 - 1%. Apart from a risk of miscarriage, there is a risk of infection and amniotic fluid leakage. The resulting amniotic fluid leak can develop into a condition known as oligohydramnios, which is low amniotic fluid level. If the resulting oligohydramnios is not treated and the amniotic fluid continues to leak it can result in the baby developing hypoplastic lungs (underdeveloped lungs).

Basically, the procedure is similar to Amniocentesis but instead of drawing the amniotic fluid, the placental tissue is retrieved. This will enable us to find out the chromosomal makeup of the baby. In other words, we can also find out for sure if baby is a boy or a girl.

Why did I do it? If my baby has DS, I want to be prepared on how to care for my baby. Special needs or not, the baby is still my child. As an educator, I have also seen how people with special needs achieve more than what we usually imagine. We needed to wait 2 weeks for the results to be out. I also had to go back for a scan to check whether there are any abnormalities in baby's heart.

After the procedure, I had stomach cramps. It was exactly like menstrual cramps and I felt horrible. I had to rest at the clinic for awhile before going home. I started to ask myself what did I just do?? I cried when I reached home as I realized I had put my baby at risk. The thought of what I had done could cause a miscarriage made me feel so guilty and I just kept saying sorry to baby.

Thanks to my church friends for praying, soon I felt a sense of peace enveloping me. Though I had 2 weeks of waiting, I did not feel anxious. I also had a revelation on what it meant to be at peace. No matter what the results, I know God has prepared us. I also kept monitoring myself to see if I had any bleeding/discomfort.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment."

Fast forward, on the day of the cardiac scan, I was more excited to see baby. Thoughts of whether baby has DS or not did not bother me at all. Baby's heart was found to be well-developed, doctor also confirmed that baby is healthy and is a BOY :) Boy or girl, it doesn't matter anymore. I was just so thankful to God.

Pregnancy Taboos

I have heard so many things I should avoid eating, doing, etc.

For the safety of baby, I already stopped using Epiduo (a prescription gel) when I started trying.

But I broke some others, as a lot of these are avoided due to fear or ignorance.

One of the things that I am not suppose to do (according to Internet sources) is... using Salicylic acid. It's one of my favourite skincare ingredient as it helps to prevent acne and normalize skin cell turnover rate. It is also oil soluble, which means it will clean your pores rather than just exfoliating the surface of your skin. It is also available over-the-counter, you don't need to see a doctor to get it. I believe that says a lot already if it is readily available.

Salicylic Acid, or BHA, is also the active ingredient in the drug Aspirin. Basically most tests are done on ingesting Salycilic Acid (aspirin). No tests have been done on topical application of Salicylic acid. But some doctors say it is ok as long as the content does not exceed 2% in the product. Topical application should be fine. Most doctors advised against it only because they would rather be more cautious about it. I know many mothers stop using them but I personally feel it is not a cause for concern. So I used it in peace for the past 7 months.

I think the logic behind it is similar to hair treatments/manicures during pregnancy. I asked a particular gynae who was pregnant herself if i needed to avoid any of these procedures but she said there's no need. She told me everything that we use have chemicals anyway.

I avoid hair treatments simply because I am afraid my hair might not turn out as what I expected due to hormones. For example, your perm might turn out frizzy instead, or does not last. Your rebonding might not be straight. Hair colour might not be true to what you see. I stopped my IPL sessions as well and this is the same reason they told me, it might not be as effective = waste of time/money. One hairstylist I spoke to told me all her pregnant clients had no issues with their hair after those treatments. But for me, I choose to wait because I don't want to risk wasting money if my hair goes haywire!

At the end of the day, it is up to your own discretion and how comfortable you feel about such things. I also strongly believe that pregnant women have the right to look good and no one should ever judge another about their beauty routine.

My mantra is that its better to be more mindful about what I eat instead of what I apply. What I eat goes straight into my body but what I apply can only penetrate so far. But even when it comes to my diet I eat most things in moderation and listen to what I crave for. Its hard for me to stick to healthy food all the time! I believe in giving in to cravings but not over indulging. I also feel that if you are craving you might be lacking something so just trust your body. (though I admit I could have made healthier choices some times)

I will be going for my first manicure session since getting pregnant as Chinese New Year is approaching. Would like to have beautiful long nails before baby arrive! I think I will be sticking to short nails for a long long time after that. Don't want to risk scratching my darling.

Scare #1

Everything was going well in the first trimester until when I was into my 10th week.

One day after returning from work, I discovered I had brown discharge down there, which looked like blood. I started to panic and I told hubby about it. So many thoughts were going through my mind:

"I need to get to the hospital quickly!"

"Will baby be ok?"

"What if we lose baby??"

"I'm so scared!"

Besides the bleeding, I did not experience any pain or discomfort. Hubby came back and brought me to the nearby KTPH.

I was made to lie down and rest for awhile. It was so dramatic, I was transferred to KKH in an ambulance. Turned out I should have gone directly to KKH instead as KTPH don't have an ob/gyn or the facilities to check me.

When I reached KKH I had to wait to be seen by the doctor. From 7pm when I first discovered to the time I eventually saw the doctor, it was already about 11.30pm. Imagine the anxiety for almost 5 hours, not knowing if baby was ok. I cried at one point, asking hubby what if we lost baby.

The gynae at the 24-hour clinic put me at ease. She assured me it was very common and since the blood was not bright red, it could have meant that it was just old blood clearing from the system. After which, she proceeded to do a scan.

My cheeky little baby was moving so much! From the previous time at 6 weeks I saw him as a little wormie, I could now see his limbs and head clearly! His hands were moving frantically! (except I could not feel him yet as he was still so tiny, deep in my womb)

My anxiety dissipated and I was overjoyed. I told myself that God knew I can't wait to see baby so He set this up so I can see him before my next appointment . It was a blessing in disguise!

First Gynae Consultation at KKH

If I remember correctly, Hubby and I went for our first appointment when I was about 4 weeks pregnant. Naturally, we were very excited to see our baby!

But to our disappointment, all we could see was this:

The water bag? Doctor commented it was still too early too be seen. I actually started to worry if baby is alright.

Thus we were told to come back 2 weeks later... and finally saw a little wormie!!

I think that was the first time we saw baby's heart beating strong as well! Every little milestone was important to us!

My EDD was adjusted from 30th March to 29th March which was not much of a difference, although I thought 30th March looks like a nicer date. Haha. Most people don't give birth on their EDD anyway, it's just an estimate.

The consultation was short and sweet as I didn't have any symptoms or discomfort to report to the doctor. But after that I told hubby I should have done my homework and prepare a list of questions to ask her!

Unpleasant experience at the GP

After finding out I'm pregnant, we couldn't contain our excitement.

We told some of our close friends and dropped hints at our family members. *Yes, I didn't wait for 3 months to pass.*

I was told by my colleague to get a referral letter from the polyclinic so that I can be on the subsidized scheme at KKH.

My experience with a GP at the polyclinic was highly unpleasant. It was in the late afternoon when I saw her and I told her I missed my period and tested positive using a pregnancy test kit. I added that I would like to have a referral letter to KK. The first words she uttered were "Oh no."

Really? How professional.

She quickly sent me down to do a urine test and obviously it came back positive.

Moments later she saw me again and broke the seemingly 'not so happy' news to me. Trust me, it wasn't like how I saw in dramas. I did not hear the famous "Congratulations! You are expecting!".

"Yes, you're pregnant. You know you need to do family planning right??" She frowned. She made it sound like I got myself in deep trouble and I have to start clearing my mess. Afterward, I ask for a medical certificate and she berated me as I was not actually sick. Excuse me, how was I suppose to get the referral letter if I don't come in during office hours??? She gave me one reluctantly.

I got the referral letter and it stated something like 'to terminate'. I was disturbed by those terms but I did not want to assume that it was what I thought.

So when I was called up by KKH to go for my appointment, to our horror, this GP sent in a referral for me to go for an abortion!

Needless to say I lodged a complain with the polyclinic. Someone called me and apologized to me, explaining that the doctor was new to the polyclinic, the director had spoken to her, etc. I did not get nasty with her but I thought to myself, you don't need to apologize, that doctor should be sorry about it.

Till today I do not know why she made those statements. I did not, ever, mention anything about terminating the pregnancy. In fact when I saw her, I was really cheerful and smiley because I was elated!!

Was it because I look young?
Was it my attire? (I wore leggings and a tunic, shoes) I wasn't in fbt shorts and slippers ok!

She should never make those statements to anyone. Even if she thought I was a teenage mum who got pregnant out of wedlock. That was just so wrong.

I'm pregnant!

We started trying to conceive (TTC) about 5 months after getting married.

Our wedding shoot in Taiwan June 2013 ❤️

So... what's the rush? Firstly, I had the desire to be a mother since I was really young, like when I was in Secondary School! I would look at all the pregnant ladies and smile to myself. They look so blissful!!! What a blessing it was for them to carry a child inside them!

W and I had been dating for really long, since I was 16. We felt ready to move on from 2 to 3 :) Transitioning from dating to married life was not drastic as we knew each other practically inside out.

I wanted to have all my kids before I turn 30. That's my aim. Further education, career, money, can wait but my body cannot. Furthermore, I have been hearing from others that children don't come by so easily. Though I have to be honest, financially it will be a little tight for us but I also believe in a God who provides. When He gives us the desire, He makes sure to provide for it as well!

So after 3 months and 4 cycles later, God blessed us with a child!

I had to admit, though it wasn't a long time compared to others, I could still understand how it feels every time my period arrived. It was quite upsetting and I remembered crying once. It was on the last cycle that I just told myself: Whatever! I can't force it to happen, it had to be God's timing.

32nd Week

I'm officially in my 32nd week of pregnancy. All is well so far. I must say I am one of the very lucky few to experience a very smooth pregnancy.
1) I did not have morning sickness. I'm not sure if genes play a part as my mother did not have MS as well.
2) I did not develop any aversions to any food/drinks/smells.
3) Neither did I have strong cravings e.g. getting hubby to run out at midnight to get me durians from Geylang!
4) No giddiness (except for 2 times when I was on the train)
5) No constipation, in fact my bowels were much more regular than before.
6) NO ACNE!!! my oily skin was my biggest worry and I was on prescription topical medication before trying to conceive. I was afraid I would break out horribly.
7) No water retention... so far
8) No backache
9) No problems sleeping
10) No breathlessness
I would like to thank God that my body adjusted well to the pregnancy hormones. I actually felt so good being pregnant, hubby says I look beautiful <3 I still chase after the bus and skip down the stairs haha!!
Some effects which I didn't really like:
1) My underarms are so discoloured... they look horrible. (I have a tendency to have hyperpigmentation as I'm of a darker skin tone)
2) I see some emerging stretchmarks on my left thigh. Though they are very little, some days they look like they are non-existent. I hope they go away.
3) I was really, really, really, really tired in my 1st trimester.
4) I had 2 episodes of upset stomach, diarrhea when no one else had (though we all had the same food). I'm not sure if it was due to being pregnant. But I felt so bad that ZacZac was not getting food. Some of those days I cry and tell him I'm sorry I got no appetite for food. (later on I learnt that our body has 2/3 weeks of reserves for baby to tap on!)
5) Having more urges to go to the toilet
These aside, there were times we were so worried and unsure whether baby would be fine. More about it another time :)