Days out of school

I've basically been out of school for most days this week. Last Friday I went to KKH, Mon and Tues I was on medical leave, and tomorrow I am going to the midwife again. I'm hoping I do not have the Strep B bacteria so that would be one less thing I need to worry about.

So I made use of the days at home to clean and pack the house (especially baby's room). I didn't buy a lot of stuff for baby and was unpacking and feeling really thankful for all the hand-me-downs and brand new stuff friends and colleagues have given to me.

I've been so emotional recently. I cried wondering if I will be a good mother. I was literally sobbing. I told hubby sometimes I feel like we are still kids and now we gonna have a kid of our own. I was at kiddy palace yesterday and looking at all the baby stuff made me feel so blessed that I have a son.

More people have commented on my huge oily, red nose!!! I'm not upset at them but I wish it wasn't that prominent! Its like the first thing people see when they look at me!!! In fact I think my face look kinda different.

But besides that I really do not have any uncomfortable symptoms at the 37th week (Yes I am officially full-term this Sunday!). It's been really a breeze. No aches even though I still do housework (laundry, vacuuming, dusting). Cramps are very minimal. Its just my NOSE, UNDERARMS, WEAK/ACHY FINGER JOINTS, FEELING WARM, STRETCH MARKS.

Some people commented "You are so fit/strong." Actually I wonder does a person's fitness level have anything to do with how their body handle pregnancy? Because I know I'm not the fittest person around. Not exercising regularly since 10 years ago and food choices not as healthy as before. 

One example, I just had laksa, and I finished the gravy. Who eats laksa on a hot hot day in a non air conditioned place, on top of increasing body heat in late pregnancy?? 

Entering 37 weeks

Went to the midwife today for strep B test. Just a swab below, simple and straightforward. Nothing much to report as usual. Hopefully I do not have the bacteria so I don't need to be administered antibiotics during labour.

Was more curious to find out how much weight I gained. From last month, I only gained additional 1.5kg. Not too bad. A total of 11.5kg weight gain so far. Started at 53kg and weigh 64.5kg now. 

Baby's head is still down but not engaged yet. Will be going back for the next appointment in a week's time. I asked the midwife if I will be seeing doc or doing anymore scan, she said no unless I have not delivered by 39 weeks. Well I guess if baby's fine and I am well, there's no need for it. That's how the subsidized system works.

Let's see if the subsidized scheme really is much cheaper than going private. If not, the next time I might as well choose private.

Feeling a little depressed when I see myself in the mirror. Seems like more stretch marks appearing. Not on my belly but my upper thighs and possibly under my boobs and on my lower back just above my butt. Oh did I mention I already have very old stretch marks (already white) on my butt due to puberty? My consolation: they are hidden as long as I am clothed. I think when they fade to white I will feel much better as fresh marks are like purple/red.

They say gaining weight gradually and applying lotion helps but I still couldn't prevent it so, I guess I am genetically predisposed to it. Some people who are much bigger dun get them at all, so it's not about your size.

My underarms look very dark and dirty but people say it will go away so I'm not so concerned about that.

Knowing how vain I am, this the sacrifice I made to have baby Zac. No regrets!

初七，人日。

It's day 7 of the lunar new year. It is considered to be everyone's birthday.

I'm starting to get more tired. Yesterday I took a 2 hour nap after coming back from school and slept through the night but still needed to take naps when I reached work today.

I take 15-20mins naps about once or twice a day at work.

The stretch marks on my left thigh doesn't seem to be going away. Hubby comforted me saying they were not a lot. I saw some emerging on the inner thigh now...

I have many fears going through my mind.
- Will I be able to handle the pain of labour? How long will it take?
- Will baby be ok?
- It will be much more tiring when baby comes out. Can I manage well?
- Will I lose the excess weight?
- Will I be able to breastfeed successfully?
- How will I evolve as I take on the role of being a mother? I don't wanna be a paranoid mother.

I'm not tired of pregnancy, but I'm feeling restricted due to it. When can I wear nice clothes/heels again? I miss my sashimi, steak, runny egg yolks, etc.

Of course I have exciting thoughts about meeting baby Zac:
- Will he resemble me or hubby more?
- How heavy will he be?
- What kind of personality will he have?
- Will he have lots of hair?? :D
- I can't wait for his first smile!

Hubby says I am so much happier being pregnant. Everyday I thank God for giving me Zac. Its the greatest blessing God has given me, to become a mother. Hubby and I still can't believe we are becoming parents, we are gonna have a son. It's now down to a matter of weeks before I see Zac. 4 more days to March, 11 more days to 37 weeks.

My uncle was telling me my 3 cousins didn't come easy or cheap. They had problems conceiving each one of them and had to see the senior specialist for jabs. Though I empathize with him on that, but God also showed me that even with obstacles He was able to bless them with 3 children.

For those who are still trying, don't give up hope.

I have another round of CNY visitation this weekend... hmm. Just the thought of it makes me tired. :S Seeing the midwife again this Friday for Strep B test. Not sure what else to expect. Hopefully I can find out roughly how heavy baby is right now and also how heavy I am :O

34th week

Time flies, it's already halfway through the school term! I will be finishing my lessons before Chinese New Year.

This also means I'm inching closer to seeing Zac... I try not to think too much about it because I will be worried that I can't handle labour pains. So I am enjoying now! I believe in visualizing and speaking out: I will have a smooth and fast natural delivery, no tear, manageable pain, baby and I safe and sound.

Of course if things don't turn out as I wished I will trust doctor's decision. Health and safety of mother and baby are most important. Although I really hope I do not have to go through a C-Sect.

Zac's movements are so vigorous everyday, sometimes I am concerned, is he getting enough sleep?? haha

But every time I feel so comforted when he moves, and I will acknowledge him by patting or stroking my belly. I will tell him "Yes, mummy is here, mummy love you." His hiccups are so strong now, I can see my belly 'bouncing'.

Current pregnancy symptoms, as usual nothing much to report on. Except for achy finger joints. I have also gained 10kg! I tell myself its all the baby and not me! Don't want to worry about gaining weight, most importantly baby must be healthy.

Went to see the midwife last Friday. No scanning was done but just to feel baby's position and measure heart rate. I already knew baby was head down ever since the last scan and I keep telling him to stay there! Midwife also showed me roughly how big is baby's head! She also informed me will be doing the Strep B test next appointment. A pity that my appointment falls on the day we have our Mass ALC Meeting.

Upcoming events for week 6:
1) I am going for my maternity photoshoot! Don't wanna miss this important milestone in my life!
2) Dasha's wedding :D

Week 7:
1) End of SDR and Chinese New Year week!